You are Larry Laffer, disco lover and top-class loser. One day, when you're having a great time at the beach, you're being rounded for the latest in embarrasment television: Stallions. Three girls give their verdict on two guys. You win second place, and find yourself in health resort La Costa Lotta. Here, you find a number of women, who you need to try to sleep with.
The controls are easy, and click-only. Click right to change the symbol of your cursor. Click with the walking symbol to walk as close as you can to wherever you clicked. Click with the hand to operate or touch things. Click on the hand picking something up to take something. Click with the zip to screw, pee or use something on your zipper. To use something from your inventory, click the take-cursor onto the object.
Exploring the scenery...
Walk back to the lobby. Then walk east (right). Go through the door. You're in the dining room. Dig in the cart to fish out an orange! Grab it with the "take" symbol. Walk through the back door, search the trash, and get the lard. Note the dumbwaiter elevator, the freezers, the truck tire and the washing up installation. Wet the cloth in the sink (alternatively, wash yourself in the bathroom with it) and put it in the freezer (or in the ice cart in the dining room). Walk back to the hallway. Further east, there is a staircase down. Follow it. You're in the bar. Take one of the matches in the jar, then leave. There is a passage to the pool here, don't head there yet. Walk further east and east, leave the hotel. You're now at the far east passage. Move down for the hotel facade, east for employees only, but go up this time. You're at the pool! Take the brown inflatable beaver, get a close-up on the bar, take the sunglasses box. Open this box, take out the sunglasses and the cleaning cloth. Use the cleaning cloth on the dental floss to make a small swimsuit.
Walk out to the east, you're at the beach. Make a sand-castle and take the whale-oil lamp. Walk south, then east. You're back at the hotel! Walk east, note the middle door is Thunderbird's room. Walk east. Go down the stairs, take the cord lying aroung in the make-up room and click on it with your hand. Talk to the lady at the front right. She is called Shablee, and wants a dress. Leave the make-up hall, go east. Walk through the door. You're at the Health Spa Lobby. (If you haven't got one yet, ask Gary at the desk for a towel). Grab a folder from the desk. Enter the left door. Here's Rose Eleeta. Talk to her. Give her the flowers from your room, and lay back. You now have an ORCHID. Back to the Health Spa lobby. Enter the 2nd door. It's the locker room. No need to change clothes yet, it takes long. Walk to the back. In the shower, check the right wall. There's an off-colour tile. Click it with your hand. Leave the shower through the other passage. You're at the mudbaths. Talk to the lady in the mudbath. She's Char Donay, she wants batteries.
Note the security camera, the middle door to the sauna, the plug and the electric shock room with code-door. Click the hand on the plants on the left side. Click the camera with the wrench. Put the plants back. Place your stripped cord in the plug, and put the other end in the Electric Shock door lock. Now, walk east, to the Fitness Centre. Talk to the lady working on her thyghs. She's Thunderbird and needs handcuffs. Walk to the door on the east side, click the empty steps with the hand. Work out. After you're done, talk to the aerobics teacher Cav until she agrees to a double-date. Click with the grab-cursor onto her badge, until you get it. You're pretty much done exploring now.
Getting the girls...
There are 9 ladies to chase.
Rose Eleeta: Give her the flowers you found in your room. She'll give you an orchid.
Cavarrichi: Talk to her until she agrees to a double-date. Then convince Burgundy to come with you.
Burgundy: is the singer in the bar. You'll see her the second time you enter the bar. Talk to her by unplugging her guitar cord. She asks for beer. Get beer at the Employees Only, use Cav's badge to enter. Grab beer from the bucket in the pink tent. Take it to Burgundy. She still wants more: get some more beer from the same place to give to her. She'll leave the stage. Then enter the sauna without wearing your suit. After the scene, get the silver BRACELET
Shablee: After Burgundy's gone, hop onstage and move south. Grab the red dress from backstage. Make sure you have the condom. Give her the dress. At the midnight, alternate between talking and touching until she's ready, then give her the condom. After the scene, go back to the beach, and get the CHAMPAGNE
Thunderbird: After you aimed the mudbath security camera into the ladies shower, go to Daryl, the security guard. He's in the little box at the facade. Sneak his handcuffs away. Give them to Thunderbird, then go on to meet her in her room (3 screens west from the lobby, middle door). After the scene, you'll have a dog collar. Click on this with the hand cursor, you'll have a DIAMOND.
Merrily Lowe: Get the inflatable beaver, take it to the kitchen and use it on the truck's front tire. You now have an inflated beaver. Head back to the pool. Click your home-made swimsuit onto yourself, then click the beaver onto the pool. Float to the bar. In close-up, talk to the man. You remember him! It's Kenny! He'll tell you how to order a drink. Flap your beaver tail. The waitress floats up. Order a drink, When she asks for ID, show her your key. Now talk to Merr. She wants a key to the bungee tower.
Talk to the life-guard. He gives you a key. Use it to get to the top of the diving tower. Use the file on the other guest key to make a new Bungee Tower Key! (Alternatively, use the soap onto the key and use the file on the soap) Dive down, return the key to Bill, and float back to Merr. Give her your key. She'll tell you WORDS OF WISDOM.
Charlotte Donay:When you see a man on an ironing board with a toilet and an umbrella: it's Art. Hop onto his tram when it's eastward. Stick on until the end of the line. Move out of the way of the tram. While he's hesitating, talk to him and give him the match. When he's away, click the wrench onto his cart. Click it on the interior to disconnect some cables. Exit the close up. When Art comes back, talk to him and offer him your help. He asks you to hold his torch. When you're back in control, quickly click your hands on the torch to remove the batteries. Give the flashlight back. Take the batteries to Char. After the Electric session, you have a MODERN SCULPTURE. Move back to the Electric Shock Room and pick up a PEARL.
Gammie Boysulay: Fix the Cellulite Drainage Machine, the door at the right in the Health Spa Lobby. To do this, get the rubber belt from the fitness centre where Thunderbird was. On the machine's left side, there's a piston (large stiff tube). Use the kitchen lard onto it. Fix the hole in the rubber tube at the right by wrapping your belt around it. Thirdly, click the wrench on the filter container, the red thing in the middle. Open it. Take out the filter. Take it to the kitchen, wash it in the automat, put the clean filter back, close and secure the container. Take the machine for a test run.
Now, talk to Gammie. Walk to the machine with her. Hook her up to the tubes above the bed. Turn on the machine. Talk to Gammie. Give her your orange. Talk more to her, she now wants a cool cloth. Get her the washcloth you moistened earlier and put in the freezer. Then she wants mineral water. Go to the hallway and move 4 screens east. There'll be a tray with mineral water outside. Bring it to her. After the scene, use the whale oil lamp on the spigot of the machine to fill it with CELLULITE.
SHAMARA: First, light the whale oil lamp. Get another match and click it with the unzip icon, then light it (Alternatively, light your match on the blue fire in Shamara's room). Move to the ice cube machine outside your room to get ice in the champagne bucket. Now hurry! Move to the kitchen, click the dumbwaiter. Crawl in and click the green button. You'll move up to Shamara's room. Walk east two screens, and talk to her. Give her the ORCHID, the BRACELET, the SCULPTURE, the DIAMOND, the WORDS OF WISDOM, the WHALE OIL LAMP, the PEARL, and lastly the CHILLED CHAMPAGNE. If the champagne is warm again, go back, use the elevator to go down to the ice cube machine, then run to the kitchen, get in the dumbwaiter and go back to Shamara.
FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN...
The Unzip icon will give you lots of fun! Unzip onto Shamara, Merr, Char, Cav, Thunderbird, Gammie, Daryl, Gary, Bill, anyone else you can find... the items in your inventory... On the fountain, in the swimming pool, down from the diving tower, in the shower, into the key container at the desk, on the bottles behind the bar, the bungee-jumpster when you're in room 201, etc etc.
In your room, move behind the plants and click around with the balloon. You can hear your neighbors having more fun than you.
Dial 911, any 900 number, any 976 number (save first), or 411. And the other numbers on the phone card.
When Gary is working on Burgundy's mike, try to sneak back to the Health Spa Lobby before Gary comes back, so you can enter the woman's shower. I never pulled it off though. But you can always try.
March to Die:
Method: Turning gay
Action: Click the Unzip icon on Gary
View: You unzip in front of Gary, we hear a wolf whistle, Gary says "I thought you'd never ask! You say Oh, no...
Message: Let's Pick Out Curtains...
As Larry and Gary Fairy float off into the sunset together, we all think: "What an ignominous end to a sterling career as athe ultimate single swinger
Method: Go blind
Action: Use toilet seat cover on the toilet seat, read the brochure, then use hand lotion.
View: We see and hear you whack, as from the outside, more and more people, including Art, Gammie and Thunderbird, are watching.
Message: Your mother warned you!
Possessing absolutely no self control, you refuse to stop before you go blind.
Method: Death in explosion
Action: Start the Cellulite Drainage machine without having done anything to it.
View: After it has worked for a few seconds, smoke comes from the piston. Larry walks up to the piston and says: "Hmm... It looks like there's a problem with the piston... perhaps I should check it out more closely..." The thing blows up.
Message: Doesn't Inadequate Lubrication Hurt?
Perhaps that piston got just a little too hot before it exploded.
Method: Drowning in cellulite
Action: Start the Cellulite Drainage machine after larding, but before cleaning filter.
View: After it has worked for a few seconds, the narrator says "That sucker! You'll never be able to suck hard enough with a hole as big as your hose!" Larry says: "Hmm... There seems to be a problem with that hose. Perhaps I should check it out more closely." "Look out Larry! She's gonna blow!" The hose explodes.
Message: It's A Little Like Tapioca!
In your worst nightmare, you never imagined yourself dying by drowning in cellulite!
Action: Walk into the ocean
View: You just go down
Message: Surf's Up! So is your Time!
As the surging surf pingpongs your lifeless body, environmentalists protest your damage to the tiny bit of staghorn coral you broke off with your head!
Action: Steal something from Daryl
View: "Without thinking twice, without blinking an eye, without moving from his stool, Daryl raises one solitary finger and subtly depresses one particular button.We see the outside of LCL, a bomb coming from the ground, flying around, giving us a mean grin, and landing on Larry.
Message: At Least The Water's Warm!
Could a missile up your butt be considered police brutality? NAH!
Method: Burned in mud bath
Action: Click hand on mud bath while dressed
View: Larry: "Wow! Free Mudbaths! I think I'll jump right in!" Narr: "The question is, will polyester protect you from this extremely hot mud...
Message: The latest in that molten look!
Evidently, La Costa Lotta keeps the temperature of their mudbaths slightly higher than the melting point of polyester!
Method: Burned in sauna
Action: Walk in sauna while dressed
View: You walk into the sauna
Message: Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just Me?
As your polyester leisure suit melts onto your raw flesh, you contemplate the wisdom of entering an extremely hot sauna wearing man-made fiber.
Action: CLick the hand on the Employees Only fence
View: "Blatingly ignoring the high-voltage sign on the fence, you walk right up, grab the wires and attempt to climb the fence. " Larry gets electrocuted.
Message: What a reVOLTing development!
It seems obvious you're not going to climb over THAT fence.
Action: Click with the hand on the swimming pool while wearing the leisure suit
View: "You're still wearing your leisure suit, but what the hell, right?" "The solden leisure suit starts to pull you under the surface! Horrors!" Larry jumps into the pool. " "As you go down for the third time, your vision fills with the image of a thousand leisure suit manufacturers burning in hell." Larry: (This is not my idea of going down!)
Message: Wear A Swimming Suit, Dude!
You're getting too old to swim in your leisure suit. Since you neglected to bring proper swimwear with you, perhaps you'll just have to create your own!
Method: Beat to death
Action: After you get Cav's badge, click her breasts repeatedly with the hand (not grab)
View: Cav: "Alright, you can have a quick peek." Cav shows her tits, and says: "Of course now that you have seen them, you're going to have to die."
Cav whacks you, we seee an overview of the aerobigs hall, you're driven all the way to the top and your head smacks onto the lamps.
Message: At Least You Died With A Smile!
As the last breath of life slowly ebbs away from your body, you think to yourself: "So what? Those are tits to die for!"
Action: Click the hand on the dumbbells at the back of the fitness hall.
View: You lift a dumbbell, drop it in your foot and shout Oww!
Message: Someday I Gotta Get In Shape!
Gangrene is such a terrible way to go!
Method: Inflation and Explosion
Action: Click the hand on the inflated truck tire
View: You inflate and rise to the ceiling
Message: That's You All Over!
Those taco truck tires certainly hold a lot of air!
Action: Click hand on door in bar
View: You open the door and a lot of water comes out.
Message:Once again Larry, you're all wet!
Next time, try to enter the swimming pool from upstairs!
Action: Click hand on electrical cord when it's plugged in
View: You're Electrocuted
Message: Better pull the plug!
What a shock! Perhaps you shouldn't play with electrical cords when they're plugged in
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