of 3xploeg
Go to mymain page 
Bonny. Ploeg.WS
Link straightto Google 
and try a better search entry
Clickhere (Dutch only)
to read Ikkan Nietsleuksschrijven
 CLICK HERE to read "The Magic Violin"
CLICK HERE to read the English translationof Ikkan Nietsleuksschrijven, Ican Notwriteanythingfunny.
CLICK HERE to go to my links section
CLICK HERE to go to my Clue (or Cluedo) article,entitled How to play Clue! or Clue for Dummies.

Hello, my friends, and welcome to another newlyupdated, yet still under construction version of my page of ramblings andlinks. This should give you something to do on a rainy day, when you havenothing better to do than sipping tea or coffee, and having your neighbourover for a scrabble.
This site is certified 31% EVIL by the Gematriculator

My name is Bonny Ploeg. I'm a 23-year-old female musicology studentfrom Eindhoven, The Netherlands. Whenever I'm not occupied by music, Ilike to draw, read, puzzle, play bridge or chess and write stories.
However, I spend most of my time listening to, making and writing music.I'm a big fan of Frank Zappa, but I also love Primus, Dweezil Zappa, DeepPurple, Mr. Bungle, Die Anarchistische Abendunterhaltung, the old Metallica,Possessed, other more or less obscure metal bands, and classical music.Primarily twentieth-century music by Stravinsky, Varèse, Stockhausen,Webern, Penderecki, Pärt and Berio, but also Saint-Saëns, Beethoven,Mozart, Ravel and pretty much anything not written by the Strauss-family.I play a lot of instruments: piano, keyboard, guitar, bass, harmonica,recorder, kazoo, melodica, jaws harp, bongos, hand flute, and I sing, muchto the annoyance of my housemates. For as far as the stuff I compose isconcerned: I have one short opera, some incidental music to plays I wrote,some songs that make little sense, and I'm reanimating a ballet I sketcheda long, long time ago. Another running project is Green Lental, theWonderdog, a musical fairy-tale for piano solo that is going to lastfor two hours. Hopefully I can make a MIDI-file of that soon. There's alsoArgh III: Killing Loneliness, a piece for 4 singers, existing of5 very short movements. Currently though, I'm working on my guitar playingskills.

Coming Soon: Bash Bush! Yet another protest song against this prankon humanity, written to chant at Bush' visit to Holland in May 2005.
Sadly, protesting was only allowed on great distance of the visit,or on the airport. Only a hundred people were allowed to demonstrate onthe airport. They were cunningly placed facing the wind, so Bush didn'tnotice them.
You may have read that I'm Dutch. Since English is my second language,I often make grammar errors or spelling mistakes. Please informme if you find something on this page that is not entirely correct.Thank you!


A social drama about loves lost
Once upon a time, all the way back in May 2005, I decided I was going tobuy a very expensive concert ticket. And I bought it, making me the proudowner of a piece of paper worth E 145, and that read VIP Zappa Plays Zappa10-11-2006 (that's November 10th). This ticket enabled me to meet one ofthe men that influenced me most in the past few years, Dweezil Zappa, alongwith his brother Ahmet. The concert was eventually postponed to May 15th,Ahmet's birthday. Since this concert happened on the birthday of somebodyI was going to meet, I thought it would be polite to give him a present.

But what to give him?

The answer came in November, when I learnt slavery is still acommon practice in the procedure of making the almighty delicious chocolate.This news shocked me very badly. Luckily, a Dutch man who was very upsetby this news, has started his own chocolate company, that sells guaranteedslaveless chocolate. These chocolate bars can only be bought in The Netherlands,and only at a small number of stores. When my sister wanted to buy somein Amsterdam, they were sold out, and in the humble little city of Eindhoventhere were only a few left. So I bought a bar as soon as I found one, inJanuary, and decided to wrap it up ASAP in order to protect it from myhungry hands. I didn't succeed in that, because of a lack of nice wrappingpaper.

In January I also made the resolution to cut down on the chocolate.It was winter, and I drank a number of cups of hot chocolate every dayat the time. Also I usually had a chocolate sprinkle sandwich for breakfast.And I ate a bar every week. That was too much in my opinion, so I madethe resolution to cut down on it.
Strangely enough, my consuming went up rather than down. I began sufferingextreme sufferings of PMS, causing me to eat a large bar every day forhalf a week. So much for my resolution.

The worst blow for my self-conscience came when in March, I starteddocumenting my record collection. After hours of hard work one night, Ibroke down and ate the Tony-bar I had bought for Ahmet. At that point,I found something had to be done. So I made the resolution of not eatingANY chocolate in the month before the concert, starting at April 15th.Partly because I wanted to look my best for the event, without acne, notover-wheight and without chocolate stains on my face.
At Silent Saturday, April 15th, I started well, but had to change mystarting day to the 17th when I saw Dad had done some Easter shopping,and had bought a lot of chocolate eggs. Also, since he had his birthdaythe day after, he bought a chocolate pie. So I would have to eat chocolateon Sunday.

And did I. Like there was no tomorrow. I ate so much chocolate I gotsick.
But I was worried about the start of the lent the day after. What ifI forgot about it and put chocolate sprinkles on my morning sandwich?
That turned out to be the least of my problems. I just had some peanutbutterinstead, and garlic cheese. But the trial really began when my sister offeredme the last Easter egg. "I saved it especially for you!" she said. Sweet,but I couldn't use that, especially since she knew about my resolution.

The first week went all-right. I had my birthday party without muchtrouble, endured all the sneering from my sister and never really got tempted.
On May 2nd, a friend had her birthday, and she was very supportive.She even went through the trouble of getting me apple pie instead of chocolatepie.
After that, I started to feel worse. Occasionally I'd walk past somethingthat smelled really badly of chocolate, causing me to groan. My cravingfor peanut butter deteriorated. And I started to dream about actually eatingchocolate. Occasionally I dreamt I ate it by accident, so realisticallythat I wondered if it really happened. But I paraded around bravely.

I kept a diary on the event. Not that I wrote much in it. At May 15th,THE day, I wrote:

The effects of the month without chocolate did not go by unnoticed. I stillsuffered the occasional pimple, possibly even worse than before the lent.But that could be due to the sun, which started shining in late April untilmid May and causes havoc with my skin, which is developing a mild allergyagainst the rays from the golden ball. Also, the pimples appeared at unusualplaces. Normally it's my nose suffering from them, but now I found themon eyelids, forehead, cheeks, chin and other spots I don't care to sharewith the world.
Mentally I was a wreck from September through late March, the weekbefore my birthday. But when I stopped eating chocolate, I was down moreoften and usually heavier than normal, and it reached its zenith when themeet and greet was not quite what I wanted to get from it. After the cocoa,I felt a lot relaxter, somehow. And it didn't even taste good.

-Chocolate is yummy
-Chocolate is delicious
-Moderate amounts of chocolate don't give me health problems
-Chocolate makes me happy

Up next: a month without peanut butter. Will I make it?

Coming up: The Magic Violin. I started writing about this when I was13, for a ballet which never took off. When I found it back several monthsago, I liked it so much I wanted to share it with you. That meant I hadto finish the story first, which I did. But I didn't like the ending: primarilybecause of the shift in focus from wizard to Scupio, so in January 2005I started re-rewriting this fairy-tale. Hopefully I'll like it better thistime.
Oh. Before I forget: my previous version had a lot of Dutch thingsabout them, so I had a list of notes to it. I won't need one anymore, butjust in case you forgot what was the deal with the strawberries turninginto camels: A long, long time ago, back in the sexy seventies, a TV-showcalled Tita Tovenaar was created. This dealt with the daughter of a wizard,who got into all sorts of trouble. Her father was never able to help her,as he was always occupied with finding a magic spell that could changestrawberries into camels.

The Magic Violin

    A long, long time ago, back in the days when witcheswere being persecuted and wizards were respected and served the King, therelived a magician in a village, far away from here. This enchanter was muchadmired for his wisdom. Therefore, people who asked favours from him, neverused his name to address him. His moniker was eventually forgotten, butwe know he was referred to as The One, The Great Conjurer of the HavemoWoodlands, or He Who Shines.
There did not seem to be any limitations to the powers of The One.He could turn strawberries into camels, make mountains of mole-hills, yes,anything could change shape whenever he was near. The King of the countrywhere he lived in, has often asked him to go into his service, but TheOne refused to leave the house where he was born in order to slave awayfor a man who would take all the credit for his servant's work.
    Even though The One was always busy with disgruntledfarmers, curing lepers and teaching his pupils all the secrets to his job,he had a little side project he worked on whenever he couldn't get to sleep.He was a music fan, and tried to make a magic violin that could do anythingthe player desired, so that people everywhere would realize how wonderfulmusic is. It took him twenty years, but his hard work paid off. The violinwas one which looks could even make the sourest crab-apple choke with laughter.It was blue with green hair glued to the back. The snares were made ofthe magician's own hair. The comb was green and glowed in the dark. Thetuning pegs were pink and at least 10 centimetres long, and held up bya purple carving of a pig. But, as always, looks can be deceiving, andin this case, they definitely were. With this violin, you could establishworld peace, solve hunger and travel to Mars and back in ten minutes.
When The One was finished, he had turned so old, his fingers hurt witharthritis and his elbows were struck by RSI, and he had to find someonewho would be able to cure the world of all unpleasantries. The first fewpeople he thought of, were his three pupils. He would test them all threeby lending them the violin for four days, to see if any of them were ableto control their own greed and relieve the world of evil.
    The oldest pupil, Iscander, was a dim chap. TheOne had only hired him because he felt sorry for this youngster. But, eventhough he was simple, it did not take him long to discover how powerfulthe instrument really was, and that, whoever owned it, would never haveto suffer any inconvenience.
Within minutes of lending him the violin, the wizard already regrettedhis way of testing. Iscander had no ear for tone at all. The scratching,of which an unfortunate listener said: "It sounded like the anguished screamof a cat trampeled by a horse before getting his tail burnt in a forestfire", disoriented all the bats in the neighbourhood, and gave every listenera pounding headache. Luckily, this auditive agony did not last long. TheOne managed to inform him that you could simply wish you would play well,and then, you could play well. However, since the violin was only capableto carry out one wish at a time, this meant that Iscander would not beable to use this powerful instrument. Disappointed by this incapability,Iscander relinquished his chance on being the man who saved the world.
    The youngest pupil was Chrysonovus, or Nove forshort. Nove was only 14 years old, but already displayed a great talentfor making people laugh. When The One lent him the violin, Nove hoppedaway, cheerfully, and wished everyone would smile, and that he would bethe greatest musician in the world. He spent his time by travelling, givingconcerts and frolicking about everywhere he came. These days would be thehappiest ones of his life: he could go to the most wonderful places withinseconds, and every performance he gave, was highly lucrative. After fourdays, Nove was rich enough to retire already. Yet, it saddened the wizardthat Nove did nothing for the common good. And even though he did not reallywant to test his other pupil, he decided to take the violin back.
    There was one pupil left now, the middle one: Scupio.Of the three, Scupio was by all means the smartest, the most mature, andthe cruellest. He spent his spare time pulling the wings out of flies,and then watch the poor little animals crawl. He discovered that, if youcut up a living worm until you have a slimy mass, then cook it with someparsley, some garlic, some spider-spit and some lizard-eggs, leave it onthe fire for two days, then drink it, your feet will get two extra toes.
The One foresaw great trouble if he let him have the violin. Unlikegenies in magic lamps, the violin had no feeling or limitations towardbringing back dead people, letting people fall in love with each other,or simply killing anything. Letting Scupio try the violin would mean hecould take over control and be the richest man in the world, marry everygood-looking lady and wish them dead if they couldn't serve him anymore,while all men and children would have to slave away. No, the violin hadto stay far away from Scupio, and being unable to play it himself, TheOne decided to take the instrument apart, to prevent evil hands from touchingit. He gave the comb to the Queen, who was very vain. He split the snaresinto hairs again, and attached them back to his head. The pig was givento a local farmer, the tuning pegs went to a matchmaker. The green hairwas cleverly concealed in a patch of grass, and the blue body was paintedover with a nice warm kaki colour, and handed to a violin maker, with therequest to turn it into an ordinary violin. And just a week after gettingit back from Nove, The One had completely dismantled the instrument, andhoped Scupio would never find out about it.
    Yet, his plan to let everybody know how beautifulmusic is, had gone up in smoke. All that was left for him now, was curehis arthritis and RSI. Luckily the cure worked. When the remainder of theviolin had been returned to him in exchange for a nose-shrinking spell,he gave the instrument to Nove, who was the only one able to make peoplehappy with such a thing. The wizard sent the young man on tour, to playaround the world. It is said that Nove created numerous progeny with plentyof groupies, and that even today, every once in a while, a great musicianwith a talent for comedy is born.

So, if you meet a scrappy comedian with a good ear for music, you knowwhere he gets his talent from. But don't tell him it comes from a magicviolin, or he might say something offensive about you in his next comedyroutine.

Reactions? Click here and mailme.

Ican Notwriteanythingfunny.

Many a strange tale has been told about Ican Notwriteanythingfunny.His name has been changed in most tales, as it sounds so awkward. Evenhis gender has known to be changed. Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly presentyou: Ican Notwriteanythingfunny's biography.
Our friend Ican Notwriteanythingfunny was born in 1716, in the lovelylittle Welsh village of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch.When he was 16, his grandmother got ill. Ican left home and stepped toher, proudly, on his brand new green rubber boots. He went to visit herand to present her with a bottle of gin. Unfortunately, Grandma lived ina deep, dark forest, where the Big Bad Wolf hunted people and bunnies.Our friend Ican ran into him!
-"Well well, who do we have here?"  the wolf asked, as his mouthproduced a breath that made his hair curl.
-"I'm Ican. My grandmother is ill, and I'm going to bring her a pick-me-up.
-"Shouldn't you pick some flowers for your sick granny?"
-"But then I'd have to leave the path, and Mummy told me to stay onit."
The angry wolf blew in Ican's face. Gotten mad with the foul smell,Ican drew a pistol from his knickers. One shot, and he doesn't have tofear anymore.
Ican hopped on to his granny. When he got there, he saw a spinning-wheel.
-"Shall I teach you how to spin?" Granny asked.
Eager to learn, Ican yelled "Yes please!" But as these words left hismouth, he cut his wrists on the spinning-wheel.
Ican was no more. Grandma put him outside, in a glass coffin. Everyday, she sat next to it, looking at Ican, crying bitter tears.
The years went by, and one day, a pretty lady passed this scene. Shesaw an old woman, crying over a dead boy in a box. The closer she got tothis sad scene, the better she could see Ican.
"What a beautiful lad," she thought. "I'll give him a last kiss." Sheopened the coffin and kissed Ican. His wounds magically healed and he jumpedout of the coffin.
Granny thought she saw a ghost. She got a heart attack and died righton the spot. Ican fled home.
"Wait!" the pretty lady shouted, but it was too late. Ican had disappeared.However, he lost a green rubber boot as he made his way home. The ladyfound it, and spoke: "I'll marry the man who fits this boot."
In the mean time, Ican had almost reached his home. But only five metresaway from his house, he changed into a pumpkin.

Several days later, the pretty lady found the pumpkin and carried itto her villa. At midnight, it changed back into the lad with one boot.He looked at the handsome dame.
-"What is your name?" he asked.
-"I am Marie-Antoinette," she replied. "And who are you?"
-"My name is Ican."
-"Are you hungry?"
-"Well guessed," Ican smiled. Marie-Antoinette went into the kitchen.Ican heard a lot of noise.
-"Are you all-right?" he asked.
-"I'm sorry, Ican, I'm all out of bread. Would you like cake instead?"
-"Sure." Minutes later, Marie-Antoinette walked back into the roomwith a biscuit and a large rubber boot.
-"I think this is yours," she said. She gave him the boot. Ican putit on, and he immediately started to dance. He danced out the house ofMarie-Antoinette, without saying goodbye. He danced to the horizon.
And he was never seen again.

Written in Dutch in 1999. This translation: December 17th, 2004.Thanks go to Koen Rosendaal for the inspiration, Roald Dahl whose revoltingrhyme "Little Red Riding Hood" contains the winged words :"The maiden smiles,her eyelid flickers / She draws a pistol from her knickers", and my sisterSaskia for pushing me to put this here, and for helping me with the finalcheck-up.
(My sister likes to point out that she cannot be held responsible inany way for any remaining spelling errors.)
Reactions? Click here and mailme!

"The man who said bagpipes were the missing link between music andnoise, probably never listened to a MIDI-File."

Probably the most awful shape of PC-music since the invention of thetweaker, is the MIDI-file. MIDI might be nice if you want to exchange informationbetween your instrument and a computer, but it's a dreadful thing to listento.
Why do I make MIDI-files then?
Well it's either this, or not being able to find out what I write.I could just jot down some notes on a piece of sheet music, or I can hearwhat they sound like. And since I prefer listening to music above lookingat notes while wondering how this information could be of any help, I makeMIDI-files. Or, I could continue composing the way I always did it: sitbehind your instrument and play it so often you won't forget it. But thenI'd forget my stuff eventually.
Ever since my father downloaded a MIDI-composer for me, I'm enthusiasticallymaking sounds and exploring the many possibilities and limitations, lookingfor the way to make them sound audible, and store my compositions awayin a memory that's stronger than mine.

Apart from the stuff I write myself, I enter data from proper composers.Some of the stuff I typed into my composer, are:

America Drinks & Goes Home, Waltz for Guitar, Oh No,and How Could I Be Such A Fool? by Frank Zappa.
Black and White Rag by George Botsford
Prelude no. 1 for guitar by Heitor Villa-Lobos
Guitare for piano (how confusing) by Camille Saint-Saëns
A toccata for guitar by Louis Ignatius Gall
Harem, Eastern Jails, The Harbour and Jungle by RuudBos
Erlkönig, Rast and Du Ring an meinem Finger by Schubert
Sederunt by Perotin
Santa Maria Amar, anonymous
Qui est promesses by Guillaume de Machaut
Ave Maria by Josquin des Prez
Miserere mei deus by Josquin des Prez
Poolse Suite deel 1: Markt te Drohobycz by Johanna Bordewijk-Roepman
If you want to get your hands on these files: ClickHere. More to come, once I get bored again.

My compositions on MIDI:
-ARGH III, now finally with all 5 parts!!!
And on-line too!
-The melancholy of a middle-aged pirate who,after a night of too much boozing, has one recovery-noggin' after the other.
-What The Hell Was I Thinking?

Plans: the 'little' tale for piano called "GreenLental, the Wonderdog", and my favourite of favourites, Saint-Saëns'Danse Macabre.

CLICK HERE to visit the officialZappa-website. You can find me on the forum: I'm BBP
CLICK HERE to visit the Rubikwebsite. I'm an official GEEK and I'm called bbp
CLICK HERE to visit thesite of South Park's favourite band, Primus. I'm a boarder, my name isBBP
CLICK HERE to visit thesite of Primus' bass player, Les Claypool
CLICK HERE to visit theweb site of Kamagurka. I'm Azquaylius on the Forum.
CLICK HERE to visit theFindAGrave site, a fine place where you can honour dead people.
CLICK HERE to go to Google,a good search engine.
CLICK HERE to visit the web siteof my alma mater, Utrecht University.
CLICK HERE for a Cluedofan site.
CLICK HERE to linkto the Black Cauldron Fan Base, of which I'm a member.
That's my page for now. Thank you for your attention.
Thanks goes to my Kramers dictionary.
Greets go to my dad and my sister, all fellow Zappa-forummembers,notably Sebastiaan, all fellow Primus-heads, notably Ryan, all my classmates and study pals, my music teachers, the family Storm, and Koen Rosendaal.
Last update: 28 June 2006
The author of this web-site, Bonny Ploeg, does not hold herselfresponsible for any auditive damage, viruses, stomach diseases or any othermischief caused by testing recipes, linking to sites listed on this page,or trying any of the midi-files listed here.

How To Win Clue! ("Hoe win ikCluedo" is verkrijgbaar door mij te mailen)
Or: Clue for Dummies.

Clue is an adorable game, for age 8 and over.Someone is murdered, and it's up to you and your fellow players to findout who. It's a great game, with a certain luck element and a murder tomake things exciting. Your deductive skills and ability to psychoanalyseyour opponents will help you find the right cards first. If you want tospoil your game forever, you can spend years finding out how to play itbest. But if you're just tired of losing all the time, you can read thisand learn how to improve your playing.
This guide has come from 13 happy years of playingClue. It's not perfect, but it may give inexperienced players a littlehelp.
I prefer the name Cluedo, since it's a pun onLudo. Ludo is not only Latin for "I play", but also a well-known, vexatiousboard game.

1: How to play Cluedo

First things first: you cannot analyse a gameif you do not have any strict rules on how to play it.
These are for the board game which I got formy birthday in 1992: a Dutch version. The rules for newer Dutch versionsare still the same. Yet older games have a different play-field and onedie.
There are:
2 six-sided dice.  I understand the Americanrules (and maybe those in other European countries) use 1. I prefer 2.*
9 room cards
6 suspect cards
6 weapon cards
6 pawns: Red (Scarlet), Yellow (Mustard), White,Green, Blue (Peacock) and Purple (Plum)
6 metal or plastic thingies representing weapons:Rope, Lead piping, Spanner, Dagger, Candle stick, Revolver
an envelope
and the playing board

    First, the cards are sortedto theme: subject/weapon/room. Then, one of each is put in the envelope.None of the players should know which cards are in it. The remaining cardsare 8 rooms, 5 suspects and 5 weapons. These are split evenly between the3 to 6 players. In case there are 4 or 5 players, some get a card
    The order of playing is decidedby whoever plays which character. Ms. Scarlet starts, then Mustard, thenWhite, then Green, then Peacock, then Plum.
The player rolls the dice and starts walking.One square per point, no walking diagonally, no walking through opponents.Ending on a door means you're in a room.
Spare points cannot be used. When leaving a room,the door is counted as a square.
One may also use the secret passages. These connectthe rooms in the corner to the room in the opposite corner: lounge-conservatoryand study-kitchen.
A player may stay in a room for as long as hewants. There is a restriction to the use of the secret passages: you mayuse those no more than twice in a row. **
When a player rolls the dice, he MUST walk: youcan't roll, see you got 3 points, and then decide you stay where you areor grab a secret passage.

    When a player is in a roomand it's his turn, he may suggest 1 card of each category to be in theenvelope. He then asks his opponents if they can disprove his suggestion.He MUST ask his opponents in the sequence of playing: Scarlet asks Mustardfirst, White asks Green first, then Peacock, etc. The first opponent tohave one or more clues, shows one card IN SECRET to the suggestor. Lattermay ask no more.
One may ask for ANY card, even ones one holdshimself. When asked, one HAS to show a clue if he has one. When duringa game, someone does not obey this last rule, he is out of the game. Hemay no longer guess, but still has to show clues.
    When a suspect is asked incombination with weapon and room, both the pawn representing the suspectand the object representing the weapon must be moved to that room. Sinceall players are suspects, this means one can be moved to a different room.That player then must continue playing from that room.

    One wins the game by makinga correct accusation.
Only one accusation may be uttered per player.Once one knows which cards are in the envelope, and it's his turn, he maysay which cards he thinks are hidden. He
must then check these. If he's correct, he putsthe cards and his notebook on the table, and cheers. When he's incorrect,he puts the cards back, may no longer roll, but still has to show clues.
Accusations may be uttered at any point of one'sturn: even after you've made a suggestion, you may accuse.

*There's a clear advantage to playing with 2 dice, rather than one.E.g. on your first turn, you're seven or eight spots away from the firstroom. With one die, it's impossible to enter a room on your first turn.

**There appears to be a difference between theseand the American rules: I'm not sure, but I think the American ones stateyou may only be in a room for 1 turn. This is annoying, considering theyroll one die: that means you'll be spending a lot of turns outside. Yet,the U.S. rules seem to state you can use the secret passages unlimitedly.

2. How to keep notes.

    The note books that come withClue will give you many hours of fun. However, after developing my tactics,I find the notebook extremely unhandy. Here's why.
It's best to write down every turn: who asks,what he asks, who shows a card, and, if possible, which card this personhas shown. It's also handy to list who has the cards the suggestor askedfor, to get a good overview of the game.
It should look like this:
TurnAsker:Asked SuspectAsked WeaponAsked RoomCard shown byWho Has SuspWho Has Weap.Who Has Room
Imagine you're Bonny.
In the first suggestion, Anne asked for Scarlett,Rope and Lounge. Bonny (you) has Scarlett, and shows this card to Anne.
Then Bonny suspects White, Revolver and Lounge.Dennis shows her the lounge.
Carl asked for Mustard, Spanner and Ballroom.None of his competitors have any one of these. Since he didn't exclaimthe solution, he has at least one of these cards himself.
Dennis asks for Scarlett, Spanner and Conservatory.Bonny shows him Scarlett.

NB The last three columns in the table above, are unnecessary. You don'thave to use them. I like keeping this information, yet it's rather time-consuming.

    You also need to have a goodoverview on where the cards are. This is best done by keeping a separatelist, in a table shape. In the rows, you write the names of the cards (rememberto use the categories) and in the columns you write the names of your opponents.In the cells, you write a positive or a negative sign, so you keep trackof who has and who has not got certain cards. This means you'll have alot of work to do. It will pay off: you can analyse your game afterwards,and pinpoint what you did wrong, so you can better yourself.
Suspect owned by:AnneBonnyCarlDennis
Imagine the four just-described turns have happened,you're Bonny. You have Scarlett and Plum. Carl asked for Mustard, whichAnne, Dennis and you did not have. Carl might still own it, though, sothat space is blank.

3. How to use your notes.

When you'll keep the notes in the way I just described,you'll find you can do something with every turn you're not involved in.It goes like this:
Imagine you're Scarlet. There's a White, Green, Peacock and Plum playing.
It's Peacock's turn. She asks for Peacock, Rope and Study.
Plum can't show her anything. Nor can you. White can show something.
If you in an earlier turn, learnt Peacock has herself and Green hasthe rope, you know White must have shown her the study.
If Plum in another turn was asked for Peacock, Rope and Hall, and showedsomething, he must have shown the hall.
When you spread this information over the game, you can deduce informationfrom earlier turns at a late time. This way, no information is wasted,and you'll llearn more than your opponents can ever suspect.
You can also find out what your opponents know. Then you can also learnwhat information they're after. That can be useful if you want to studytheir behaviour.

4. Psychology...

Using psychology is always dangerous. In criminalinvestigation, psychological analysis has proven to be helpful, but alsoto be misguiding.
However, though the game has a murder setting,this is NOT a criminal investigation. It's a game: to find out which cardsare randomly chosen from a selection of cards.
Still, your opponents might try and distractyou by acting in a way that makes you think they know something, whilethey don't. Especially more experienced players and bad losers tend toput up a little play. They're the ones who'll say by the end they had thesame solution but weren't sure about the location of the crime scene.
The way your opponents act, can be very helpful.If Peacock is in the conservatory, utters a suggestion, is shown a card,and stays in the same room at the next turn, she probably did NOT get tosee the conservatory-card. That means that whoever showed her the clue,did not show the conservatory. That does NOT mean the conservatory is wherethe murder happened. It does NOT mean that the person who showed the card,doesn't have that card.
If Peacock leaves, but comes back later, it canmean several things: she might need that room to get somewhere quickly(so she has a lead), or she might not have got to see it and wants to besure, or she has it herself.
If someone asks repeatedly for a weapon, thatcan mean two things: either your opponent thinks that's THE weapon, andhe's trying to get a definite answer, or your opponent has figured outwhat the real weapon is and keeps on asking for a card she has herself.Remember, again, that in such a case the weapon is probably not shown tothe suggestor.
For persons, things work slightly different,since you're being shifted when you're a suspect. Your opponent will notlike to have to shift you around a lot. When someone keeps suspecting you,he thinks you did it. Or he's bullying you.
Watching the behaviour of your opponents is alsovery helpful. When they get nervous, they might be very close to who'sdone it. They then can't wait until it's their turn and can put their theoryto the test. When they begin to laugh suddenly, they might have made areal stupid mistake. But, always check your notebook to see if your mentaldeduction corresponds to what you know of your opponents.

5. Tips

-Keep track of the game. Once you decide to takeeverything down, missing out on one turn can cost you your victory. Veryvexing.
This gets harder as the game progresses. Themore you learn from your opponents, the more you can deduce from earlierturns. Don't hesitate to ask your opponents to slow down a little whenyou're going through rough times. Use abbreviations!
-Remember your opponents do not do things atrandom. They're not stupid.
-Remember which cards you show to who (you writethat down, don't you?). If someone accidentally asks you for a clue youalready showed, it's best to show that one again. That way, your opponentloses a turn, since he learns something he already knew.
-Remember everyone has a fixed number of cards.Once you found out all the cards someone has, you know that that opponentdoesn't have any other cards.
-Showing the right cards is also a very importantpart of the game. You might want to avoid showing a certain card (thatworks best with suspects, btw), so you can trick your opponents into thinkingthat is the card in the envelope. Usually, when you have a choice, showyour opponent the room. When the opponent sees the room is in your hand,he'll have to move his pawn elsewhere.
There are more rooms than weapons or suspects,plus one cannot choose which room to ask: so it's much more difficult tofind out which room is in the envelope. Usually, when a game has been goingon for some time, most opponents have found out something on the murdereror the weapon, but the room is more of a problem. When you did not getto see the room you asked for, you tend to stay there, until you're surethat's not the room, or decide it's better to leave before your opponentsbecome suspicious.
In the late stage of the game, people are mainlyafter the room they ask. It can be fun not to show them a room in sucha case, though you'll find that by then your opponent asks for weaponsand personae you cannot show: because they're in the envelope, or becausethey're owned by the suggestor.
SHOW YOURSELF IN AN EARLY STAGE. This will preventyou from being shifted all the time.
-If an opponent gets nasty (he knows too much),you can bully him by shifting him to a different room. Use this only whenyou're in a room which is definitely not THE room.
-Blast. You didn't throw enough to get into aroom. Not too bad: try to end on a place where you can prevent your opponentsfrom entering a chamber.
-Never ever tell anyone how much you know. Neverever tell anyone how much you know. Very important. Pretend you'redunce. Even when someone who is not playing asks you what you know, sayyou don't know anything for sure. Seriously. I lost games over this.
-When you're making your accusation, make sureeveryone knows what you say, and that you say what you think. Nothingis more embarrassing than throwing down THE cards in triumph, while youactually lost. Yes, it happened to me.
-When no-one can flash cards, someone probablylearns the identity of one or more cards in the envelope. Make note ofthese turns: not many people will dare to ask for three cards they havethemselves.
-It happened twice to me that I played with someonenew to the game, and the newbie shouted out loud which clue he had. So,when you're introducing someone, please stress this point.
-It has also happened to me, that a sleepy opponent showed me a cardI didn't ask for.

There is a certain advantage to being the firstto make an accusation. So be Miss Scarlet, even if you're a guy. In casepeople might begin to feel suspicious towards your choice, you can sayyou think she's pretty.
There's also an advantage to being Mrs. Peacock.All characters are 8 spots away from the room closest to their startingposition, except for Peacock, who merely has to walk for 7 spaces to getinto the conservatory. The difference, though, is minor.
It is easier to play with few, than with manyopponents. That has to do with the number of cards, and the number of turnsyou have compared to the total number of turns, though few players is alsoa disadvantage using this system since you also have to show more cards.You learn very little from a turn where you have to show cards.
Having the extra card when you play with 4 or5 does make the game easier. The difference, though, is not very big, sodon't get angry if you don't get it.
It's easiest to win if you have a lot of rooms,since that part of the accusation is much more complicated to figure out,compared to the weapon and murderer.
Of course, you'll have more difficulties gettingthe clues from the people you don't ask first. This information is of nohelp to you.
Also fun to note, but not really helping, isthe 'monkey see, monkey do'-factor that becomes apparent while playing.In the guessing stage, players tend to mimic their opponent's guesses.
DON'T DO THAT. You should be able to figure outwhich clues they got from that turn in a later stage of the game, in caseyou write down every move.

Finally, the element of luck in this game cannotbe eliminated: after all, you begin by simply guessing which cards arein. Asking the right cards incidentally does happen. You can lose froma bad player if that person has a lot of rooms. You can't help the numberof points you roll either: I once lost because I had to race a competitorto the crime scene, and got low points. So, this guide is not an assuranceof winning, but it might help you by learning what you can deduce.

Thanks goes to my sister Saskia Ploeg, who, too,is always busy finding better ways of playing Clue. She first suggestedthe idea of writing down who has a certain card, and began writing downevery turn. Writing down who hasn't got a certain card was my idea. BACK TO TEXT